


Sooner or Later

by Morgana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 07:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no winner in any of this, and Dean knows it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sooner or Later

There was no winner here. That much should be obvious to anybody with eyes and half a working brain. If they were successful, if this crazy plan of theirs to use Sam to distract Lucifer while Dean got the last ring from Death worked, the devil would almost certainly make the destruction of his vessel his last act on Earth. They knew that, both of them were well aware of it, and yet here they were, one night left to go before Sam headed north to Detroit and Dean headed south to Chicago.   
  
All night long, Dean had been the strong one. He'd held it together through a dinner that made him think about what sheer hell that whole last supper had to have been - better food than they usually even dreamt of, but he couldn't eat a bite of it, not knowing what was coming. Still, he'd had a few drinks (okay, maybe seven more than a few, but medicinal alcohol really shouldn't count towards total intake) and pushed the food around on his plate while Bobby told stories of their childhood and Cas stared at his 'dead cow' like it was about to bite him. Any other time, it would've been one of the better meals of his life, but not now. If he hadn't had Sam beside him, he'd have lost it. As it was, the huge hand on his thigh had been the only thing that kept him from jumping up and turning the table over and screaming when the waitress had come by to see if they wanted more bread. More bread! Like that could make up for the fact that he was going to lose his brother tomorrow!  
  
He was hanging on by a thread by the time they left the restaurant and went back to the much-better-than-usual hotel, where Bobby hugged Sam and said good night in a gruff voice that stated plainer than words he was holding back tears, and Cas stared at both of them intently before saying, "Call me when you are ready to leave in the morning." Dean interpreted that to mean he was going to keep Bobby from knocking on their door at the crack of dawn, and he appreciated it. Every minute counted now.  
  
They headed back to their room and went through the motions just like it was any other night: they showered and brushed their teeth, bickered over what to watch on TV before ending up on a Law & Order rerun because it was the only thing they could ever agree on, and went to bed, where Sam was asleep and snoring in minutes while Dean looked at him and marveled at his ability to fall asleep that fast, no matter where they were or what was after them. He'd always done that, conked out wherever they lay down, while Dean lay awake and watchful, and tonight was no different. Except that tonight, the shower was a big fancy one with three separate shower heads, the TV was one of those flat screen HD models, and there was one bed instead of two, with sheets that had a ridiculously high thread count that had pretty much reduced Sam to goo when he'd first seen them.  
  
And it was the last night he'd ever have with Sam.  
  
This was the last time he'd have Sam laying in the bed next to him, the last time those long arms and legs would end up sprawled all over him because his brother just couldn't sleep next to him and not treat him like his own personal teddy bear, the last time he'd listen to his breath change as he slept, the last time - Dammit, he was going to go insane if he kept thinking like this! Dean wanted to shake Sam awake and ask how'd he stood it two years ago, when he'd had to watch Dean's last day. Had it been like this for him, a neverending catalogue of lasts, a race to store up memories before the chance was gone forever, a litany of regrets and wishes, things that he wanted but that it was too late for? And most of all, how had he stood it afterward, when it was final and there was nothing left but blood and revenge and death?  
  
Dean had a sinking feeling he wouldn't have to wait much longer to find out. But he'd already determined that there wouldn't be any revenge for him. He knew Sam had asked him to go find Lisa and have that normal life, but there really wasn't such a thing as a normal life for hunters. Especially ones who'd lost everything that had ever made life worth living. Those didn't last long at all.  
  
Oh, he wasn't about to put a gun in his mouth, even if he knew Bobby probably expected him to. He wasn't that dumb; his Heaven had Sam in it, and he wasn't about to spend forever without Sammy next to him. Not when there were easier, more certain ways to die. Dean knows he just had to keep hunting, just had to stay on the road long enough, and eventually he'll come across something too big and bad for him to handle. Sooner or later, some creature will get the drop on him and it'll all be over. He just hopes it's sooner rather than later.


End file.
